Thursday, February 26, 2009

My Favorite Color Is Clear.

Good [insert time of day you're reading this], [insert gender/witty nickname/term of endearment]. Another week, another edition of my rantings. I hope everything has been good to you, for you, etcetera etcetera. Me - I've been good. I still have my health and I can still walk and chew gum at the same time so all and all, it's been a banner week.
Today's subject stems from an ongoing conversation that I've had with several friends. It seems that people are unable to see the signals in which someone else is interested. It's not their fault. They generally tend to suffer from something I like to call the G.I.N. (Gullible, Innocent, Naive) Syndrome.
I think I have it pretty bad myself.
What exactly is that you say?
Well, my friends - it's when a person misses signs that are so obvious that Stevie Wonder could see them in the dark. [SIDEBAR: Can someone tell me why Stevie Wonder wears sunglasses? Is he protecting his eyelashes from the harsh UV rays? I just don't get it. Color me slow.]
Sorry for that tangent. Back to your regularly scheduled reading.
These signs usually consist of the following things (as told to me by other folks as I still don't quite get it):
If a person is talking to you and they constantly are finding ways to place themselves upon your person, chances are - they dig you or they have some type of weird skin fetish. If that's the case, feel free to be weirded out.
If a person laughs at your jokes all the time like you should be doing stand-up on Comedy Central and you're as exciting a glass of tap water, odds are that person is interested in you.
Constant Communication.
If a person is always asking you what you're doing, texting, e-mailing, calling, Facebook messaging, Tweeting or IMing you, chances are they are interested in you. Or they could be extremely bored but let's go with the first answer...
Eye Contact
When you receive the "come hither" look (as my homie Eb likes to call it), go there-ther (OK, don't judge me... I don't know the Olde English term for there). If you're giving off, please try to look sensous as at times, it can look like you're constipated.
Please be mindful that these are not always the case because you do have overtly friendly people who can exhibit all 3 of these things and still only see you in a platonic light. These are not indicators that you have the green light to start getting stationary for your impending wedding. They are just guides to give you a glimmer of hope in the lonely world we have out there.
I'm sure I've missed some things so please fill me in.
That's my time.
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