Smart Music Mondays, Guest Edition: Luvvie

Yep, my Smart Music has been jacked once again by the Awesome One, Miss Luvvie. If you don't know who she is, you're sleeping on hilarity at its finest. Check her out!

Next week, I'll be dropping a little present so be on the lookout!

"You know you got power, when everyone comes to your concert wearing purple sweaters." - My friend, V.E.G.


So I was watching TVOnes yesterday, and "Purple Rain" came on. I've never watched it before, but I know it's a classic because people still make references to it. While watching, I just realized how pretty Prince is. I mean, I knew before, but he was giving me ALL TYPES of fierce in it.



Throughout the movie, he was wearing ruffled shirts with these elaborate fronts and details. No one rocks ruffles like Prince! NO one. His neck was meant to be draped in fabric. Just pretty for no reason. This brings me to the fact that Prince is the gayest heterosexual sex symbol.



Disclaimer: STOP RIGHT THERE! Yes, you. The one that's about to type that I'm homophobic. Step away from the keyboard and go find a new spot to SADDOWN! I heart the Gays. So SHARRAP. Don't go there.

Yes, that is a scarf. At the SuperBowl. Twas raining. He wasn't bout to mess up his perm!

Prince may be a fan of the Love Pocket but he's probably played with a Magic Stick or 2 in his life (not that there's anything wrong with that). I just KNOWED IT! Yeah I said it. What man can rock Aunt Jemima scarves, fabulous wedged heels, ruffles and women's pants (self-admitted) and STILL have grown women drop trou? ONLY PRINCE. What other man can make all these high-pitched moans in his songs and have women squealing? ONLY PRINCE. I mean, people yell that Ne-Yo is a lover of Peni but he's still (visually anyway) more masculine than Prince. Although I do wonder what brand of lipgloss they both wear. I need my lips popping like that. TeachMe.



Grown women throw their panties at Prince's feet. I heard his concerts look like they're sponsored by Fruit of the Loom, with mounds of undies on stage. And I have to say I don't understand the huge chexual fascination with him. I'm prolly the only woman who doesn't wanna do nothing to Prince. I just wanna put him in my pocket and take him places with me. He'd be my own lil Pocket Hetero (or my Fairy GodHetero). Besides, onliest thing I can do with Prince is to go shopping. Prince and I are probably the same size too. He looks like he's about 120 pounds soaking wet with Timbs on. We'd prolly buy the same shoes and pants. And then I'd get mad cuz he looked better in them than me. HMPH! RUDE!



Besides, even if I did find him to be an object of lust-fection, I couldn't date Prince. He's way prettier than me. I'm 'posed to be the purty one in the 'lationship. His eyelashes are like paintbrushes so they trump mine. Plus he got these perfectly pouty lips. AND Prince's Wrap is greater than mine (if I still had one), yours and your Mama's. This is FACT. His hair STAYS laid. Women try but fail to achieve that coiffure. Whoever does his hair needs some sorta award. It. IS. DOPE. Yeah, we couldn't BE. My eyes would be too green. I'm shallow like that.

See? He's pretty. And his coif is greater than mine, yours and your Mama's. And you see his chesticle hair game is PROPER. He is giving me LIFE with this pic. iLive!

When I see Prince, I'm somewhat reminded of Tinkerbell. He's so dainty and airy. He'd fly easily. If I could sit down with him once, I'd ask him "Who does ur facials? Can I borrow some lipgloss? Where do you get your pumps from?" THESE are the important queries I must know.



Prince is so purty. *strokes Prince's hair*



So who's quit me as a result of this? And is there anyone else who agrees with me? Yes, all 1 of you. Stand up and show yourself. - Luvvie

Original Post @ Awesomely Luvvie.

let free love... ring.

Over the last few days, I’ve been reflecting on different thoughts and conundrumsand I figured that I should run it past others (since I couldn’t find anybody, I chose you guys). I've been having sex on and off for years now and I'd like to think I have a Ph. D in the Vagina Monologues know what I'm doing. In retrospect, it’s been fun for the most part... at least for me anyway, and that's what counts, right? During that time span, I've come to realize something. We all should be having a lot more sex than we are -- at least most of us should (It’d save some of us $39.99 for the new releases… but that’s a story for another day).

Here's the thing. Almost all of us are fairly selective when it comes to our sexual partners. Girls look for strong, confident, masculine types with wit and charm. Guys look for . . . well; we look for the finest [or fastest] thing that will let us into their panties. Often, the amount of attractiveness required is inversely related to the length of time since the last sexual encounter and/or the amount of alcohol in his/her system. People, these standards are all wrong. We're selling ourselves shorter than a dwarf prostitute.

Sex is sex, a physical act; don’t go making it deeper than what it is.

Just remember this:

Ladies: you’re not going to always see fireworks when you finally let him hit the Good Ship Lollipop.

Fellas: just because you’re gettin’ the draws does not mean you have to marry this chick.

Let's be honest with ourselves here. Any hint of beauty, charm, grace, and/or wit flies right out the door as soon as the penis enters the vagina -- possibly even before. Have you ever looked at someone when you're having sex with them? People make the strangest, ridiculous, and most inexcusable faces when they're in the throes of passion. Eyes roll back. Mouths hang open. People grunt as if they were trying to get rid of last night's Guacamole Surprise. Even more peculiar, peoples' bodies do that bizarre convulsing thing when they climax and their toes curl. Are you developing the mental picture?

And the things we say . . . oh, the things we say.

That person you met at the club who was charming and witty, and who said all the right things, all of a sudden begins spewing forth profanities that would make a porn star blush -- from the same mouth they kiss their mother with, no less. The wit, charm, and even coherence are all gone and you're left with a shell of a person who has lost the ability to use 95.5% of their brain. And just who started this thing where we all talk to God while we're doing it? If our brains were actually engaged during sex, we'd see the irony of calling out to God while we're hitting it doggy-style...

Then, there are the horrific noises we make. Grunting and groaning as if we were lying on our death bed. Have you ever thought about the fact that a person having sex will often replicate the sounds you might here from a person recently awoken from major abdominal surgery? Those sounds obliterate any amount of dignity we entered the bedroom with.

Not to mention that, if the sex is great, we end up all sweaty, sticky, and smelling like a mixture of barn animals by the end. In fact, the better the sex, the louder, more outlandish, more unattractive, wetter, stickier, and less coherent we become. We become the exact opposite of what the other person was looking for in the first place!!

My point here is that all those attributes you are looking for in a sex partner don't amount to squat once the lights go out and the legs go up. We all become reduced to sweaty, gutter-mouthed idiots with ludicrous (even downright ugly) expressions on our faces. Yet, we continue to look for the very opposite in a sex partner.

People, we are all being much too selective when it comes having sex. Let's all just step back a moment, realize the error of our ways, and resolve not to limit our sex partners based on such silly and obviously irrelevant criteria. Let's stop discriminating against the ugly and the meek and start having sex. The next time you see someone who looks like they might enjoy having sex with you, I want you to go right up to them and ask them to have sex with you. If they've read my blog, they'll likely smile, say okay, and the next thing you know you'll be swinging from the rafters. If they haven't read my blog… well, then you'll likely have to move on.

I don't know about you, but I'm going to start today. Who's comin’ with me?




"I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson

That's my time.

Smart Music Mondays, Two Four Five and Some Change.

MIX OF THE WEEK
Flwrpt. - Autumn

The Message

Autumn is different from the traditionally creations. It's a mix of deep house, nu-soul, r&b, and electronic music. It’s all about the vibes this go-round, hopefully you all can feel it! Enjoy…

Check out the sound!

Download Here:
MAC Users: Option + Click on the link below.
PC Users: Right-Click + Save As… on the link below.

Download Autumn.

or

Listen Now:

Tracklisting:
Eric Roberson – N2U
N’Dambi – Call Me
Aya – Love Yourself
Stevie Wonder – My Love Is On Fire (DJ Spinna Remix)
Peven Everett – Time After Time
Alison Crockett – Crossroads ( DJ Spinna Remix)
Andre 3000 – She Lives In My Lap
Stephanie McKay – Peace & Quiet
Masinuh – Construction
Soulquarians – Saturday Night
Jamiroquai – Alright
Vikter Duplaix – Grover (Remix)
A.G. Thomas – The 1, 2
Randy Watson Experience – Grover III
Tony Toni Tone – I Couldn’t Keep It To Myself
Dam-Funk – Fantasy
Alison Crockett – U R
Danny Madden – Facts of Life
Peven Everett – Stuck
Dam-Funk – Mirrors
Shafiq – Love Still Hurts


ALBUM OF THE WEEK
Geno Young - The Ghetto Symphony


TRACKLISTING
1. Introlude
2. Throw Your Hands
3. She Won't Talk To Me
4. Honeydew
5. Broadway
6. I Really Do
7. Let's Lay Down
8. Man With Nothing To Lose
9. Broadway Live
10. Do What You Do
11. I Get So Wrapped Up In You
12. Was It A Love Song (Ramp)
13. Love Beyond Compare

Download Here.

Listen to it & enjoy...

I'm kinda diggin' the shortened stuff so I'll be implementing a few changes soon...

Last night, I was online working on a few things and I decided to a break and check out Twitter. The trending topic of choice was #musicmemory, dedicated to musical memories and it seem to invoke a myriad of memories for many (sidebar: my alliteration game is proper - don't hate) and I decided to share some of mine (as well as my followers)

#musicmemory slow grinding to Keith Sweat How Deep Is Your Love in my cousin's birthday party

#musicmemory listening to moms play the 5 stairsteps ooh child after she whooped me or my brothers (also always made me think of the scene in Boyz In The Hood when Doughboy got arrested)

Ooh Child - Boyz N The Hood Soundtrack

#musicmemory listening to the luniz I got 5 on it wondering what "it" was... (I eventually found out firsthand)

#musicmemory making slow jam tapes from the radio - getting slick pissed if the dj came back on before the song was over

#musicmemory hearing rap for the first time: beastie boys-brass monkey - I was amazed and confused - wtf was the point of that song?

#musicmemory watching friday night videos (no cable) and trying to mimic dance moves

@asiakismet #musicmemory actually watching soultrain on saturdays.

@theothertoya #musicmemory Jagged Edge's "Gotta Be" part of my voicemail msg for my pager...LMBO!

@LorrenJade #musicmemory Freshman year of College, moving from Ohio to Nashville & being introduced to all the dirty south rap music! Lol

With all that being said, what are a few of your music memories?

Get @ me... (insert DMX growl)

Have a great week!

Where's My Umbrella-eh-eh-eh? [classic post]

Sorry about the non-posts - I'll be back soon... - Mr. Smart Guy



What's up, folks? I hope all is well. I know it's been a minute since I wrote... been experiencing a little something called real life. It's kind of weird disconnecting from this addiction and actually going out and doing stuff.

Go figure.

Well, anyway - one of my homeboys took a position in the Big Apple and we all decided to hang out last night at this trendy spot to celebrate. Of course, since everybody met up at my house - I decided (i.e. was forced) to be the designated sucker - I mean driver.

Two of the crew had already started drinking before they had arrived and they were slurring worse than a KKK rally in Harlem. I knew I was in for a LOOOOOOOOOONG night because whenever these dudes get drunk, you have to watch out for something popping off.

We finally head out on the way to the spot - which I had never been to before. I try to get some info on the place - but I'm really just relieved that we aren't doing the same ol' thang...

My intoxicated friend tells me he heard the joint was a great spot to be and that we were gonna have a great time. Slowly, I began to get excited about the possibilities of the night seeing I'm always down for a good time.

We pull up and see that there is a line of people outside the lounge so we immediately know it's not dead. We park and head in - straight to the bar. I get my one beverage - because I know that's all I can really have being the responsible guy I am... and proceed to take in the ambiance.

There was virtually no seating - except for a cushy spot right on the dance floor.

"Sounds good to me! We can get a prime view of these lovely ladies!" replied my drunken sidekick.

So we all made our way over there with our drinks - and posted up.

Like clockwork, this inebriated chick (whose breath smelled like a mixture of Bacardi, White Diamonds, Virginia Slims and moldy tacos) asked if we knew what time the show started.

I replied to her that I had no idea about a show - but I'd find out about it for her - provided she stopped talking immediately...

All of sudden, all of the lights went out and this techno music started playing. A spotlight went to the middle of the dance floor and the ugliest woman I'd ever seen came out. It sorta looked like this:

C & C Music Factory - Gonna Make You Sweat

What did the bartender put in my drink?

What madness am I viewing?

The ugly woman started gyrating everywhere and this man came out and started throwing dollar bills at her. She was obviously excited so she started dancing harder and all of these guys randomly would come up with money and blow kisses at her.

Then she turned in our direction.

What
The
EFF?

That is an Adam's Apple.

A HUGE ADAM'S APPLE.

Is she... a HE?

[cue It's Raining Men]

Glad we found that little tidbit out because our homeboy was about to buy "SHIM" a drink - as he was checking out "her" firm backside and told us that he liked his women with a little muscle definition because they tend to surprise him in bed.

I bet that would have been one helluva surprise.

That's my time. In the meantime, let me know about an unexpected experience you've encountered. Have a great weekend!

Smart Music Mondays, Twenty Four Point Five.

Sorry guys... been kinda under the weather and I've got some other things up my sleeve... be back soon!



ALBUM OF THE WEEK
He's The King, I'm The DJ

Jeff said he was inspired to do the mixtape after fellow DJ Mick Boogie suggested putting his playlist together as a proper release.

“I did it exactly as I would play it out live,” Jeff explained. “I kind of wanted to give a feel like you heard it in a club. I didn’t necessarily want to go in a certain order, ’cause everybody in the world plays certain Michael Jackson songs. And I wanted to play songs that not everyone plays, play some obscure album cuts. And if you listen to it, I have some a capella and versions of songs that not everyone had heard. So, I kind of wanted to mix it up and keep people off guard. Just give them an example of all that Michael was like.”

“After Mike passed, I really started digging, and I found a bunch of stuff that I didn’t know Mike had, especially with the Jackson 5,” Jeff told MTV News. “He had a whole bunch of albums that go completely past people. I think people just go for [popular songs like] ‘I Want You Back,’ ‘Never Can Say Goodbye’ — and there was a bunch of obscure albums that all had really good stuff on them. Then it was hard, because I wanted to keep it one CD and not make it a Mike anthology. I wanted to just make it something that was entertaining, that you could just play from the beginning to end.”

The 49-song mixtape is sponsored by Undcrwrn apparel and will be available for free download on their site starting Monday (October 26), on the eve of premiere of the concert documentary, “Michael Jackson’s This Is It.” The mixtape cover, featuring an illustrated take on Jeff and Smith’s album He’s the DJ, I’m the Rapper, is also printed on a T-shirt from Udrcrwn, retailing for $32.

SMART TAKE: DJ Jazzy Jeff. Michael Jackson. Score. That is all.

UNDRCRWN PRESENTS: DJ JAZZY JEFF "HES THE KING, IM THE DJ"

Download Here.

Listen to it & enjoy...

Have a great week!

Smart Music Mondays, Twenty Four.

It's that time once again for Smart Music Mondays! Hopefully, I'm not boring you with my selections... let me know if there is something I should be listening to! Now's let's get down to the business at hand.

First off, Rahdu has blessed us with another of his classic podcasts!

Old School Mixed CDs: DSXXX 14: Soulful Treats and Bedroom Beats
TRACKLIST
1. Intro
2. india.arie - Butterfly
3. Jill Scott - Brotha
4. 9th Wonder Inst w/ Big Rube - Alphabet Acrobat
5. Lucy Pearl feat Phat Kat - Without You (Dwele remix)
6. D'angelo feat Redman - Dreamin' Eyes (Def Squad Remix)
7. Erykah Badu - Bump It w/ Musiq - Soulstar Inst
8. Angela Johnson - Money Dont Grow on Trees
9. Yahzarah - Laugh
10. Questionmark Asylm - Lookaway Inst w/ Dave Chapelle - Landlord
11. Ms. Dynamite - Gotta Let U Know
12. Pete Rock - Smooth Sailing w/ Pharcyde - Passin' Me By
13. Angie Stone - Bone 2 Pic (Wit U)
14. Kenny Latimore - Cant Get Enough
15. Rahsaan Patterson - The One For Me
16. Maxwell - Sumthin Sumthin
17. Musiq - Youloveme
18. Dwele - Fan2C Lady
19. Van Hunt - Precious (Live in Cleveland)
20. Conya Doss - That's Not Love
21. Sweetback feat Maxwell - Softly, Softly
22. Phuturistix - Sunshine Lover (Amma)
23. N'dambi - Deep
24. Mary J Blige - My Life
25. Roy Ayers - Everybody Loves the Sunshine

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD

FRESH FEATURE: TURN MY HEADPHONES UP
This week is a new feature that I'm starting. I'm gathering new stuff that's fresh (reader submissions are very much welcome) and broadcasting it to you guys.



Ill Fingas EP

This LP was sent to me by One Sun - and I have to admit the rhythm is contagious. This is based out of Russia and it goes kinda hard. Check it out and let me know if you enjoy as well...


ALBUM OF THE WEEK
Brittany Bosco - Spectrum 2​.​0


Almost without warning unheard and unseen, Brittany Bosco has created a growing revolution amongst her peers and her contemporaries in Atlanta’s growing, cultural music scene. The Savannah native took the reigns of the pulse coursing through the veins of underground music with her release of the The Spectrum EP in 2008, and has continued to ride this pulse, making it’s vibrations and sound audible to those in the mainstream industry. The recent release of her debut video, “Blues for Blue/Black & White” , as well as a string of performances on both coasts, displays Bosco’s ability to captivate audiences and break boundaries of age, genre, sex, and race. California to Chicago, New York to North Carolina, Bosco’s ability to bend genres and captivate the hearts and imagination of her multitude of supporters is evident. Within a years time, Bosco has received major media recognition, and her fan base has grown exponentially. She has no plan to stop anytime soon.

There are few things more exciting, moving, thrilling, and mind-altering than witnessing the vocal talents and showmanship displayed at a Brittany Bosco performance. The professionally trained songstress, and self-proclaimed “actress” combines these unique gifts and truly exhibits traits of the greatest entertainers of our time. Bosco’s well-rounded taste in music, which includes contemporary alternative artists as well as legends of sound from the 1930’s, 40’s, and 50’s, combined with her love for true showmanship has made her an unstoppable force, oozing with raw talent and charming personality.

Now, with the release of her next compilation, "The Spectrum Re-Release", followed by BLACK in the fall of 2009 Bosco and The Big Up! creative collective continue to develop the Bosco brand through innovations in both music and design. Brittany Bosco is genre-bending, thought - provoking, inspiring, quirky, passionate, and honest. A diamond in the rough, a truly authentic artist creating her own waves within a sea of mediocrity. Take a look. Take a listen.

Welcome to Funkyolon 00:56
Black Keys 03:09
8-Track 03:55
Glitch 04:25
City of Nowhere 03:11
Blues for Blue 02:23
Billie's Song 03:23
It Was You 04:16
Black & White 03:42
Lovethang 04:32
It Was You Live (feat. Brandon Thomas) 04:53
Black&White Remix (feat. KidSyc) 05:03

Download Here.

Listen to it & enjoy...

Have a great week!

gotcha!

Good afternoon, everyone. I hope you all are well. I'm maintaining - for the most part. I've spent most of my day in boredom as all of the electricity went out in my building. Apparently, a surge protector wasn't on  the list of must need things and we all caught more L's than Cool James. Fortunately, with all of the free time I came into, it afforded me enough time to reminisce on various situations (especially those in college), namely those that caused me to feel really old all of a sudden.

Ah, the glory days of hormones, creased jeans and dolla holla parties in a gym that was hotter than two portly people in long johns having sex in a sauna.

Sigh.

Smart Guy Sidebar: Let me first preface this; during those days, my crew and I were so head-strong, confident --- and plain old ig'nant - because some of the things that we did bordered on pure and unadulterated stupidity.

My junior year of college, I tried to date several people at once. While this may seem normal to some, it was extremely out of the ordinary for me. For the longest time, I was in my serial monogamist mode - so for me to be with multiple indiviuals was very strange. I was still seeing my on-and-off ex-girlfriend of several years, RoundtheWayGirl, and talking other co-eds on the campus. One night after whispering long-distance sweet nothings in my former boo's ear, we arranged a visit for her to come and see me for a couple of days.

After setting the plan in motion, I soon realized that I had spread myself too thin. At the time, several females vying for my attention during the same time of the visit. Woe was me. What was I to do?

INNER VOICE: What they don't know won't hurt them....

Everything was set. I would entertain RoundtheWayGirl for a couple of days and set apart some quality time for the other girls once she left. I had to think of something that would allow me to not have to worry about any unexpected surprises in the meantime.

There are certain things one has to know when practicing deception... and apparently, young Smart Guy didn't get that memo.

Rule #1: A Lie Will Always Come Back To Bite You In Your Ass.
I told Midwest Swang AKA Girl #1 that I was sick and I couldn't spend time with for fear she might get infected.
I told Southern Smoke AKA Girl #2  that I had several tests upcoming and I would be spending most of my time studying over the weekend.
I can't remember what I told Girl #3 or her whimsical nickname - but it was some BS, too. All in all, it was all dumb - but it wouldn't much of a story if I was smart at the time - but I digress.

The days passed and RoundtheWayGirl arrived at the airport. Things were good. I took her to her room (I stayed in an all-male dorm, so she couldn't stay with me) to get settled and then we went spent some time together. We were having a good time and all was good - until...

Rule #2: Never Get Too Full of Yourself
While I was enjoying my time with RoundtheWayGirl, I decided that she wasn't enough for me at the time - and I wanted more time with one of the other ladies. I created a situation that allowed me to leave RoundtheWayGirl in her hotel - and immediately rushed to see Southern Smoke. Big mistake. Time sped through the day faster than a Taco Bell burrito through someone's digestive system. Next thing you know, I've been gone for several hours and my cell is ringing off the hook. Damn, homie - what were you thinking?

I rushed back to RoundtheWayGirl and began to profusely apologize for losing track of time and promised to make it up to her. We ended deciding to go to the mall to shop our troubles away. We jump into my beaten-up, piece of junk, I need to be pimped by Xzibit ride and head off. All of sudden, the smell of something burning began wafting in the air and my engine starting making noises that an engine should never make.

My friggin' engine has blown on the middle of the expressway. Hoorah.

Distraught, I have my car towed back to the dorm - and all the while, RoundtheWayGirl is in my ear, telling me that she should have never come to see me. We go in the dorm, both scowling, and sign her into the book and proceed upstairs. This was beginning to take a turn for the worst but we only had a couple of hours left until her plane departed. It couldn't get any worse, could it?

Rule #3: Always expect the worst.
Right about that time, my phone started ringing several times and I refused to answer it. Immediately, RoundtheWayGirl got suspicious.

RoundtheWayGirl: Um, why ain't you pickin' up the phone?
Smart Guy: Um. Cuz.
Smart Guy's Inner Thoughts: Why didn't you pick up the phone, jackass?

All of sudden, there were several knocks at my door. I looked out of the peephole and noticed several enraged women, demanding immediate entrance.

RoundtheWayGirl: Um, why are all these chicks outside your door, Smart Guy?
Smart Guy: Um. Cuz.
Smart Guy's Inner Thoughts: Whatever you do, don't open the cotdam door.

Apparently, Midwest Swing decided to bring me some soup (because I was ill with a mild case of Anthrax - at the time it sounded good) and when she arrived at the dorm, she noticed that a female was signed under my name. Upon that revelation, she rushed back to her place, crying profusely. Her friends learned of this "indiscretion" against her - and vowed to avenge her honor - at my expense... now, this herd of estrogen is outside my door, waiting to snap me like a Slim Jim. Meanwhile, I'm wishing I was somewhere else other than this spot. RoundtheWayGirl is carving me up with her eyes, demanding to know what the hell is going on and the chants are getting louder and louder. If I can recollect, I think a single tear dropped, symbolizing how alone I was about to be. I can hear Ron Isley singing this to me:

Go upstairs (Busted),
Pack your bags (Cuz you busted),
While you at it (Busted),
Call a cab (Cuz you busted),
It's obvious (Busted),
You played around (Cuz you busted),
Go upstairs and get your s---
and get the f--- up out of here now.

Needless to say, things didn't turn out well. Not only did I lose the two directly involved in the event, but everyone else on campus found out what happened, including the other girls I was seeing. #FAIL.

That ordeal taught me so many lessons:

1) Don't do that.
2) Don't do that again.
3) Don't do that again - ever.

Otherwise, you'll end up looking like this:





Hit me up - let me know if you know of or heard of anyone (including yourself) that has been in that situation. I just don't wanna be the only one.

That's my time.

Have a great weekend!