This wouldn't be so bad if he were looking for specific items like literacy, no venereal diseases or possessing a full set of teeth. No, no - he wanted things like: must be a size 4 or smaller, shorter than 5'5 and absolutely no children. Keep in mind, he is an educated dude with a nice heart but the good Lord didn't necessarily bless him with rugged looks
I had to stop and let him know this sound piece of advice:
STOP SWINGING FOR HOME RUNS.
JUST GET YOUR BUTT ON BASE FIRST.
Instead of trying to find someone to be the perfect mate, stop being picky and just find A DATE.
Hey, that rhymed. No Al Sharpton.
Seriously though, you'd be surprised what's waiting out there. It's not all bad out there.
Yes, I know it's shocking.
After setting him straight, I jumped back on to chat with a few more of my friends and the homie Buffalo Wings hit me up to catch me up on some things. It seems that Buff hooked up an jobless acquaintance with a lead on some employment and that person neglected to even follow up on the lead because "the paper wasn't large enough".
Cue Antoine Dodson.
Last time, I checked zero plus zero equals zero. I'd much rather have my pockets filled with extra medium paper rather none at all.
I'm just sayin'...
Again, stay in your lane.
Stop swinging for home runs.
You'll get yours in due time.
That's my time.
Before I let you go (no BlackStreet), let me know if I'm off-base or if you know any of these delusional folks out here in the streets.
- Smart Guy