I’m bored senseless living alone right now but on the upside, I have become a lot more accustomed with my fully functioning cable service. For example, it's Wednesday night, nothing's on, and you can't get engaged in Patron-guzzling contests until your check is deposited...so yeah, you just might end up catching "Dancing With The Stars." Ordinarily, this would be a great opportunity to stab yourself with dull toothpicks, but all bets are off when you find out that Master P is a contestant [excuse me, P. Miller]. His new handle will certainly cement his reputation as the most shameless "rapretreneur" in history, but if it makes you feel any better, I'm sure C-Murder got raped extra hard last night for this stunt, wherever he is.
P's routine was predictably hilarious, as he spent most of his allotted minute wobbling around like an emperor penguin while his 4'8" partner danced circles around him. While Jerry Rice was at least willing to go out on a limb wearing a choker he stole from his daughter, P wore a borderline-"FEMA-produced" suit with a baseball cap that had a rhinestone "P" on it. And before he could receive his score from the judges, he claimed his involvement in this was "for the victims of Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans and Baton Rouge." Despite being called a "musical genius" by the Italian judge, he got the lowest score of the night, and then I think he quoted "Stop Hatin" in the backstage interview. Seriously, now we can't vote him off.
This ain't no muthaf**** P!