Thursday, March 09, 2006

now showing...

Before I get started, I’d like to thank everyone who stops by to read these blogs. Because of you (and lots of boredom during my day), I continue to pump out these things. I welcome (and encourage) you to leave feedback about whatever catches your eye. Realize that freedom of speech is alive and well in all of us – speak: the phenomenon wouldn’t exist without it. Enough about that, let’s get into the rant.

The other day, I was stressed about work and other miscellaneous inconsequential things so I decided to go out to unwind. I called up my good friend, Georgia Peach to commiserate about my ordeals. GP told me I needed to chill and do something non-stressful. I perused the Internet to see what those non-stressful options might be:

Drinking? Nah, I’m not trying to make a habit of doing that.

Going on Myspace? Tried and true favorite, but I do it too often nowadays.

Watching television? Nothing is on that excites me (except for Flavor of Love).

What about a movie? Hmmm, I haven’t done that in a while – that seems like a good idea.

Yep, I was headed to the movies… but I had to first map out a plan of action. I had to take advantage of the situation (i.e. the ghetto all-day movie “pass”) – because I don’t really go to the movies all that often. GP told me to see something entitled Something New. I was indifferent (I guess I just wanted to break the monotony of the work week and probably did need something new) so I decided that it would be the first movie viewed that day. I then had to decide where I would go to see this flick. There are 15 theaters in the Nashville area (but there are certain ones you have to go to be able to actually hear the movie). Come to find out, there are only 2 theaters showing this movie (both have predominantly African-American consumers).

My first feeling was confusion. Why is this movie only at two theaters? The movie came out two weeks ago. Shouldn’t there be more available showings?

My second feeling was denial. Maybe it’s because it hasn’t been a lot of support for this film. Perhaps no one really knows about it. Yeah, that’s it. Then I realized the reason I knew about the movie was because I saw a special, hyping the making of the movie… you have to know what I was feeling next…

ANGER. Pure, unadulterated fury. I can’t believe that they are not showing this movie here. It’s because it’s about an interracial couple falling in love. I just don’t understand it… the theaters can show movies with gratuitous violence and nudity, not to mention, a friggin love story about gay cowboys… but not Jungle Fever: the 2006 version. That’s just wrong! Sorry about that, everyone --- I was really feeling emotional… I was ready to boycott every theater that wasn’t showing the film… but then I came to my senses and realized I was still a Black man in the South… tragedy avoided.

After almost having an aneurysm, I calmed down and began my trek to the theater. I decided against seeing Something New (didn’t need my blood pressure elevating again). Upon arrival at the theater, I picked out a new movie, Madea’s Family Reunion. After the day I was having, I needed a good chuckle. While walking up to the counter, I noticed that the tickets were $8.25 (What?!!! When did tickets get so friggin expensive?!! That’s almost 4 gallons of gas!!!). I figured because I was already there, I might as well buy the damned ticket (mind you, I wasn’t happy about giving up that chunk of change at all).

As I give my ticket to the pimply-faced pre-teen who was guarding the entrance, I hear probably the loudest scream humanly possible, emitting from a toddler, who has decided he wants Twizzlers (and he is not taking no for an answer). Where is this child’s parent with the belt and why are they not tearing that tail up? When I was little, I’d have a hand on the back of my head so fast – if I even thought about doing something like that… it’s cool, though… just as long as the little rugrat doesn’t come in the same movie with me…

Like most stories, you can probably guess what happened next… that’s right… the little bastard and all 6 of his siblings came into the same show I did. Sonuvabitch!!! Calm down, Ice Cold, calm down… I sat down and tried to force myself into not running up and beating the brakes off of all of those kids. I was so proud – I got through half of the movie, without wishing any bodily harm to any of them… but then it happened.


[louder whispers][more laughter]

[finally answers with a loud voice]

Gurl, Madea is funny as all get-out, she so stupid… yeah, I’m here with all of dem… naw, we finna go to da mall when it’s over… these folks bet not say nothin’ to me either…

Have you ever gotten so upset that your eyes start to twitch and you feel like you are two seconds away from catching a felony charge? I was right there when she finally
hung up. Folks can be so ignant (yes, I said ignant) sometimes. After all that, I couldn’t even enjoy the movie after that. I just picked up my coat, bounded down the stairs and went home… where I proceeded to stare at the wall for the remainder of the evening. I have now decided from now on, movies will not be watched more than 30 feet from my couch… at least, it’ll be quiet and free. That has to be worth something… I guess. Anyway, that’s my time.

I'm out.... see y’all on Tuesday - Jorge.

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