Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Oral Fixation...

Up Number #2 this week is PHS aka Pimp Hand Strong. He can introduce himself far better than I can so, here he is! Let's give him a warm welcome, folks!

What’s up, Errrbody! For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Pimp Hand Strong [aka PHS aka Pimp Hand]. You may have seen me around. I’m kind of a big deal. LOL, just kidding. Anyway, my blog fam (A.Pimp.Named.Slickback/Jorge Mateo) has invited me to guest star on the popular “Speak: The New Phenomenon” blog page. Eager to spread the love, I quickly obliged. I’ve been asked to cover a topic for y’all. I hope you enjoy it.

I’m about to take you on a ride to a place that, if you’re lucky, you haven’t been to since high school. I say “if you’re lucky” because so many people still end up faced with this... ommm ...”problem”. Remember back in high school when you first began to dabble with sex? (I’m speaking to the general population of course. I know some started earlier, and some started later.) You know, back in the day, before experience taught you all of the rules and “proper etiquette” for navigating your way through Loveland? If you were lucky, you tracked down someone who was just as eager to participate as you were. But if you were like most people (guys especially), you might have come across a couple of girls who were...how shall I say....less than willing.

I always thought that this problem was unique to high schoolers and novices to the sex game. Unfortunately, some of my colleagues have informed me that some of us still run into this problem. Does anybody out there just love oral sex... even if only receiving? I sure as hell do, and I thought that everybody did. In fact, the first time I tasted that sweet goodness, the only reason I did it was because I wanted her to return the favor. The promise of getting some of this “head” that I had been hearing about (and seeing in my boy’s uncle’s adult film collection... fellas, what you know about dat?) was motivation enough for me to take a few licks. Anyway, enough about me. The promise of the favor being returned isn’t enough for some people. Hell, by the time you’ve experienced a semester or two of college life, oral sex becomes somewhat of a hobby. Some of us are quite skilled at it. Others - well, let’s just say we can tell it’s a chore to you.

When it comes to relationships, oral sex should be easy. I stress “should be”. The two of you are committed to one another. Both of you like to receive, and both of you like to give pleasure to the other person. There’s nothing to it but to do it. Right? Wrong. What if you’re in a relationship and your partner won’t do it? You really really want him/her to do it for you, but they just don’t want to. Why? Maybe they think it’s disgusting. Maybe they have yet to shed their “good girl complex” (BTW, The “Good Girl” Complex is a blog that I’ve semi-written but haven’t posted yet...you’ll see it soon.) But, for whatever reason, they won’t do it. You go down on them (and I mean you REALLY put in the work), and they still won’t do it. What do you do? I’ll tell you what I do, I don’t do it. That’s right, ladies, if there’s no sucking, there’s no loving.

I can hear some of you now, “Uh uuh, I know he didn’t just say that.” Yep, I did. I suggest you take the same approach. You see, I’m realistic. I know that I enjoy oral sex. Since I enjoy it, there is no sense in me depriving myself of it by being in a relationship with a woman who doesn’t give head. It’s that simple. I’m not saying I expect head on the first date. I’m not even saying I expect you to give me head before I go down on you. I’m just saying that if I don’t get some head in a reasonable amount of time during our tenure together, the relationship can’t go any further. If you’re not the type to do that with every guy, I can respect that. I’ll give you a reasonable amount of time to decide that I’m not “every guy”. And if you’ve never done it, I’m more than willing to teach. But head is necessary. If you were in love with warm weather, you wouldn’t move to Antarctica, would you? This is the same principle.

Intercourse is easy. Satisfaction is fairly mutual when performing the act. Both parties are benefiting. But oral is different. Except for psychological gratification, the receiver in oral sex benefits from the activity more than the giver. And that sometimes creates a problem. In my mind, the protocol for oral sex is simple. Ladies, if you want to do it for your current lover (or luster), do it. You know he wants it. If he isn’t your man, and you’re worried about what he might think, maybe you should wait. But for all of you ladies out there who do what you feel like doing (thank God for y’all), do the damn thang. Guys, in most cases, if we don’t give, we don’t receive. That’s just the way it is. Just accept it. So if you want it, suck it up (no pun intended) and get your ass down there. And if you are the type who loves nothing better than to hear her moaning when you’re licking that sweet stuff, get to it. Trust me, she’s not going to try to stop you.

I hope you’ve enjoyed the blog. Stop by my blog page on Myspace or Blogger anytime. What do you guys think about this topic?


Pimp Hand Strong
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