Thursday, May 11, 2006


What’s up, everybody? Hope your week has gone well thus far… I’ve been bumming around the house – partially because I don’t feel like spending any money to be entertained and it’s been raining like cats and dogs for the last 2 weeks here. I think I might start building an ark like Noah around these parts. To keep my sanity, I’ve been writing and getting reacquainted with my old friend, television. It’s been awhile since I flipped on the ol’ tube but I’ve been making up for lost time (let’s just say – my electric bill just got a little higher).

Nevertheless, while channel-surfing; I ended up watching Good Times… who just happened to be home to the happiest people in the ghetto, the Evans family. These folks were always so damn cheerful, cracking jokes and whatnot. Did they not realize they were in the projects in the middle of Chicago?!!!

I’m so off the subject – so I’ll get back on track.

This particular episode, cast a not-quite-nasty yet Janet Jackson as Penny, the precocious little neighbor - who was getting the brakes beat off her by her mother for lying (and for really just being born). She ended getting saved from this madness by DCFS (and Willona, the next-door neighbor who never stayed at her own damn apartment). I know this makes me sound really slow, but: when did ass-whipping become a crime?

So what Penny’s mother used an iron to prove her point? You call it abuse, I call it productive. I bet you little Penny was slow to tell another fib! Society has cast upon us the thought that it’s wrong to spank your child and it can mess up their psyche. Forget that nonsense – time-outs are for sporting events only, not for ornery rugrats. In the words of DJay (from Hustle and Flow): whoop that trick!

I was raised under the adage: spare the rod, spoil the child. Mama Sharon used to lay those hands on me whenever I thought about getting out of line. She even had a look. She would scrunch up her face real tight (like she was constipated); bring her eyes to the tiniest of slits and bite the insides of her cheeks – that look still gives me chills.

With most parents, after the look came into play - playtime was over.

They will talk to you for some ungodly amount of time, telling you how wrong you were and how they were doing this because they loved you. Personally, I think this was to soften the kid up for the kill. When they finished the lecture, they always end it with these words: THIS IS GOING TO HURT ME MORE THAN IT HURTS YOU. Ok, how about we trade places then?

Usually, this ends up with the kid, crying a river of tears, snot and drool and rubbing their sore butt. It’s also generally around that time that those brats contemplate turning in their folks in to the child abuse services (you know the hotline trying to help kids out of beatings nationwide). I almost called those folks on Mama Sharon – but I swear I heard her yell out to me: “I’ll give you a REAL reason to call those folks if you even THINK about making that call!”

All jokes aside, I appreciated the “tough love”. I think I turned to be mostly normal (although I’m still a little swollen on the backside), well, at least, I’m not TOO crazy.

Thanks for listening to me ramble – that’s it for me…

- Jorge
Next week will be a different format – I’m bringing some guest bloggers everyday – so be on the lookout for these great writers! Keep reading and for Chrissakes – leave some comments!
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