Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Working 9-5

Hump Day. The middle of the week where it's not close enough to the weekend to celebrate; but too doggoned far to turn back now. I can't really enjoy the day solely because I'm still recuperating from the attack of the sinuses/allergies. I think I caught it from Britt via her blog. I can barely function at work; drowsy from medication but alert from the air conditioner, which is set at like fifty degrees - which wouldn't be terrible in the dead of summer but it's like seventy degrees outside. Damn, those frigid bastards!

With my brain going numb from cold and cold medicines, I decided to write before all of my brain cells disappeared for the day and I ended up in the corner, drooling on my slacks. Even in this condition, I still believe I could do this gig flawlessly. (My boss might beg to differ but let's keep that betweenst us.) It's not like people really have the most stringent criteria for hiring anymore...

I remember when I got my first job at the age of 15. I was working for a card store in downtown Chicago, making a scant $4.75 a hour. Yes, friends - I was officially a baller. I remember seeing my first paycheck - I was so excited to be making my own money - until I opened it. The next day, I promptly quit...

Seems like that happened quite a bit, ending with me having more positions than a 50 year old porn star. In fact, since I'm such a nice guy - I'll let you journey back with me...

The List
Kool-Aid Distributor
Movie Usher
Office Clerk
Professional Rug Vacuum-er/Mirror Cleaner (worked for Big Mama - best job ever!)
Pop[Soda or Cold Drank for you non-Chicagoans] Distributor
Vacuum Salesman
Credit Card Giveaway Guy
Professional Escort [for the people who didn't want who didn't want to go to prom alone... but Moms pocketed those proceeds]
Jeans Retail Clerk
Assistant Manager [Champs Sports] - worked there for 3 days, got tired of folding
Montgomery Ward's Construction Worker - fell asleep on the job in a back room - you know they had the nerve to fire me?!
Computer Sales
Cell Phone Sales
English Teacher [You know I love the kids!]
Model [I was the before picture]
Repo Man
Promotions @ now defunct radio station
Discount CD Salesman - [OK, they were burnt CDs - go figure]
Mail Room Clerk
Basketball Coach
Private Dancer [Uhh, yeah - again it was never for money.... heh heh heh]
Boyfriend [the hardest daggoned job of them all!!!!]

With all those jobs, you'd think I'd be rich but alas I'm not... and I'm typing to you now. Maybe one day, I'll get enough cash money to pay someone else to work for me. Until then, I gotta get on the grind... back again soon!

- Jorge AKA the hard(ly)-working man.

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