Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Half-Truths, Deceptions & Flat-Out Fallacies.

Hello, friends.

Been a long time, ain't it?

Sorry about that... but I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

(cue the drum roll)

Today's entry was inspired by a trending tag I spotted on Twitter (#liesivetold)
(PS - if you haven't added me yet, get to gettin': @MrSmartGuy)

Because I'm an open guy, I let loose on the Twittanets a bevy of falsehoods that I've uttered once upon a time, such as:

#liesivetold i'll be there in 5 minutes
Smart Guy Commentary: You already know once I say that, it's gonna be at least another 15 minutes before I get into the vicinity...

#liesivetold i'mma call you right back
Smart Guy Commentary: See above. It's not on purpose, I just get side-tracked!

#liesivetold it's not THAT bad
Smart Guy Commentary: If you had to ask, it probably is that bad.

#liesivetold ..... just the tip, I promise!
Smart Guy Commentary: Ah, the coup de grace! I'd like to call this the Lay's Theory (you know, like the potato chips...); you can't just have ONE. Once you get a taste, you're bound to want more!

Let's be honest... well at least as honest as we can be in a post about lies we've told... for the most part, the majority of people are truthful 95% of the time (sans those people that pop up who seem to be as allergic to the truth as Tiger was to celibacy) but there are times when a fib is just easier.

Case in point: the other day, I was walking down the street to get some lunch when I encountered an older gentleman, who seemed to be down on bad times. He approached with his tale of his car running out of gas while on his way to the orphanage to volunteer. He told me all he needed was some money to make it there to see those sweet, adoring children. Unfortunately, all I thought I had with me was my debit card, a stick of gum and some lint so I couldn't give him that. He then proceeded to curse me out with alcohol-tinged breath and told me that I wasn't worth the ground I was standing on.

I felt really bad for not being able to help out that gentleman (who was so clearly trying to go see Tiny Tim, Lil' Orphan Annie, Willis, Arnold and 'nem...) and in the process, I might have told a small white lie.

Turns out I had 5 singles in my back pocket - but even in my heart, I know I still probably would have kept my mini-treasure to myself.


Well, my thoughts were that the lil' underprivileged chirren would see none of my donation but Jack D., Captain Morgan and the folks on the Night Train would have celebrated my giving. I probably would have given him some loot if he had been more honest like this guy here:

But really, I can't blame the guy - I mean, who really is honest nowadays?

People fib.
People fabricate.
People tell small white lies.
People tell BIG, BOLDFACE lies.
They exaggerate.
They omit.
They tell you they were just kidding...
but when it all boils down to it - a lie is a lie.

That's not to say you are a liar... but there are plenty of times where lies are so much easier to tell than the truth.

For instance, let's say you are driving in a parking lot and you are the only person driving out. You're in a rush and while accelerating, you slightly bump a car, leaving the tiniest of scratches. Would you stop everything and risk being late, to file a police report or rush to in find the individual you hit?

I think not.

How about if you're at the office, tired -- ready to ease on down the road and lay it down in your underwear and your boss asks you if you'd like to stay an extra couple of hours to lick stamps? Would you tell your boss that your prior plans (of being a bum)?

Probably not.

How about if you're talking to your best friend in the whole world (who has terrible self esteem and is extremely volatile) and she asks you how she looks with her favorite dress on?

If you don't want her to want her to harm herself or moreover, you - you better make her believe that she's next coming of Bobby's old boo...

Honestly speaking, while lies should never be the first option - sometimes you gotta fib or have someone try to crack a rib. It's spared me from plenty of Mama Sharon's beat-downs. (She was too busy laughing to whoop me...)

You have to do so sometimes for the greater good. Just make sure when you do, you're not lying to yourself in the process. Buying weave does not make that hair your own.

That's my thought on the subject - I'd like you to know what y'all think... hit me up!

That's my two cents.
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