Be forewarned, this is not the usual blog from the kid.*
There are many good men
Hell I'm a great one
So why do women say
It's so hard to date one
Even more so harder to
Find one
That's respectful, faithful
And not mind dumb
So they sing spirituals
Odes and woes to being single
But how many times have
They allowed themselves to mingle
Ladies, do something different
Modify your priorities
To find the one
you feel is a minority
Now I'm not sayin' to change
From gospel to secular
But if eyes were opened
you'd see more on the regular.
The above poem popped into my head after a conversation with the fellas awhile back. We were sitting at a local watering hole, catching up on old times, discussing a myriad of things in the journey of catching up with one another. We hadn't seen each in quite some time so you can imagine there was a lot of banter going around.
All of sudden, we see a group of attractive young ladies, perhaps looking in our general direction. After quickly glancing back with our masculine glares, we definitely knew they were looking at us. It was at least six in their group and we had about five in ours. They were looking with urgency as if to implore us to come over. We continued to converse with one another; looking for signs that they wanted us in their company.
After about several minutes of stolen glances, we began to discuss the fact that these young women were obviously interested but yet they stayed glued to their chairs. The night went on and both of our parties went their respective ways but the remnants of that night clung to me.
Why DIDN'T those ladies approach US?
They were interested - at least seemingly so.
Why didn't they at least initiate conversation or even do something to make an opening for it? Perhaps they weren't as enthralled as we thought they were but I don't think that was the case.
My thought is that a lot of women are conditioned to having men approach them and this group was one of its disciples.
I know that some might be asking: what's wrong with that?
There's nothing wrong with it at all.
If that's your prerogative, feel free to sit back and wait on your knight in shining armor. Chances are he's not willing to fight through the angry pack of wolves (also known as your friends); just for the chance for you to possibly take his number.
I know some women believe that Mr. Right will fall into their laps, possibly through the law of averages and/or constant prayer. Perhaps, it might happen - but more than likely it won't. Think if you took that same approach with money.
I'm not going to work today.
God will send a blessing through the Lotto.
Odds are - with that logic, the only gambling will be done is to see which utility will be cut off first. But I digress...
Ladies, I implore you. If you want something, go for it. More than likely, a man won't reject you. In fact, he'll embrace your refreshing take on things. I know. I'm a man. Trust me.
Be very aware - we men are simple. We are not mind readers. Give us concise directions and the probability is - we'll follow them. If you leave us to ascertain your feelings, you'll probably end up like those slightly inebriated ladies at the bar - hanging with your girls.
That's my time.
Riddle me this: am I off-base on this assessment? What's your take on it?
Friday, April 16, 2010
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I've Been Thinking....
2010-04-16T09:46:00-05:00
Mr. Smart Guy
chronicles|dating|educational|hilarity|
Sherita · 782 weeks ago
Mr. Smart Guy 57p · 782 weeks ago
heyjerzygirl · 778 weeks ago
Sherita · 782 weeks ago
Michele Mings · 782 weeks ago
Mr. Smart Guy 57p · 782 weeks ago
Michele Mings · 782 weeks ago
Mr. Smart Guy 57p · 782 weeks ago
ASmith · 782 weeks ago
Truth is, I think we could all go back and forth, making accurate arguments, for why one group should've approached the other first. But the reality is, no matter what your gender, if you see something, go for it.
There would've been no harm, imo, in either group going as a group to the other table. The interest was clearly there.
Mr. Smart Guy 57p · 782 weeks ago
Miss Pisces · 782 weeks ago
Mr. Smart Guy 57p · 782 weeks ago
Kimolisa · 782 weeks ago
Everyone is afraid of rejection, but it's for both sexes to get the hootzpah to approach the other. Then again I've thrown in the towel so I shouldn't be talking. LOL.
Mr. Smart Guy 57p · 782 weeks ago
Kit (Keep It Trill) · 782 weeks ago
In a world where men typically take the initiative, not one of the five did. This leads me to wonder if:
A) You were the only one who thought they were attractive,
B) There were no available seats at their table, making it a combination logistical problem and fear of being humiliated if you and the other men misread the cues that that glances meant they were interested, Magnify this for the women, since they've been conditioned to not approach men, especially men sitting at bar.
C) That the ladies interpreted your group's lack of action to mean that you were all married, engaged, had significant others, or weren't into women,
D) Everyone was just a little too drunk to get up,
E) The testosterone levels in the guys were just a tad too low, or
F) All of the men had been satisfactorily laid in the past 48 hours and felt no pressure to do what I'm certain they would have done had it been 48 days, irregardless of the seating arrangements.
My money's on F, followed by B, although it could be all of the above. ;)
Mr. Smart Guy 57p · 781 weeks ago
SteelDragon · 782 weeks ago
Women are competitive by nature and probably were competing with each other to see who would be the winner of the blue ribbon on that night so they could talk about on the ride home or the next day at work.
No one in their group wanted to seem easy either and if they came over to you guys, that's exactly what the guys would have thought. Granted, they could have created an opportunity for someone to approach their table but it's possible you guys were too drunk to take advantage of the opening.
Mr. Smart Guy 57p · 781 weeks ago
I can definitely see where you're coming from...
reine noire · 781 weeks ago
Step 1: Eye Contact - focused intently on the man of interest
Step 2: Eye contact with a nice smile and the universal black greeting, (the head nod)
Step 3: The walk by- This is where the woman strategically walks past the gentleman with whom she is interested in on her way to another destination. Therefore, distancing herself from her friends (i.e. the Wolf Pack) and providing the gentleman with a great opportunity for interaction.
Now, if I do all three of these things and the gentleman does not come over, then I must assume one of the following:
1) He is on the other team
2) He is not interested
3) He is too shy or too dense to understand that I just displayed interest him. (If this is the case, I have already become disinterested because nothing is more attractive then Confidence and Intelligence.)
So, while I do empathize with the scenario that you spoke of in the poem, men have been pursuing women for centuries and until recently it has been working just find. So men need to be observant, man-up and bring some stimulating conversation once they decide to approach.
Mr. Smart Guy 57p · 781 weeks ago
Tiffany · 780 weeks ago
Peace, Love and Chocolate
Mr. Smart Guy 57p · 780 weeks ago
heyjerzygirl · 778 weeks ago