Saturday, January 01, 2011

conversate and coordinate...

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your eardrums (OK, everybody else too). First and foremost, Happy New Year. New years mean new beginnings hence me beginning to write again. Enough small talk though – let’s get down to business.

The other day, I had a conversation with a close friend. She was in a situation where she was dating a gentleman for a period of time. They did a lot of stuff together on a regular basis and to all accounts and from what I gather, they seemed to be quite fond of each other. The only thing this couple did not have was a title.

In her eyes, that was OK because they had each other… until a new position threatened the stint they spent together. Knowing he was leaving, she decided to have the dreaded conversation.

*Cue fancy movie music*

This, my friends, is where the proverbial fecal waste hit the fan.

He began to bandy about statements about how much he cared for her and wanted to keep her in his life but now was a bad time for him to be making such important decisions. SMART GUY SIDEBAR: this is code for I’d like to keep smangin’* you with the flexibility to skeet on others.

Needless to say, this “relationship” is now, like Stevie Wonder’s hairline: a thing of the past.

Honestly, the homie didn’t have much of a chance. Her fate was predetermined. Once she started asking about status, it was over.

We men are mostly simple creatures. We like to watch sports, eat and luxuriate in latex lovin’ (wrap it up, B!) – and we don’t like being asked questions.

We know what we like – point blank.

Real talk, a man knows within the first 30 days of the courtship period whether or not he would like to take things to the next level with his partner of the moment. He may or may not act on that thought for some time but that is beside the point. Ladies, this is when you should let the letter of the law take place by enacting the 90 Day Rule.

What is the 90 Day Rule?
*cue Antoine Dodson*

Welllllll, the 90 Day Rule is fairly simple. If you are dating someone and after 90 days you are not actively working your way to a relationship, stop what you’re doing, lace up your shoes and turn and walk away because you, my friend are headed in the wrong direction.

I know some of you are scratching your heads to my reference to Hamburger Helper. In my eyes, Hamburger Helper is a delicious treat to satiate your appetite for an indefinite amount of time. It’s quick, inexpensive, and is pleasing to the palate. In a nutshell, when you are hungry - it does the trick.

In my first years after completing my undergraduate studies, I ate Hamburger Helper several times a week, partially in lieu of my finances (or lack thereof). I enjoyed and it definitely served its purpose. But therein lies the problem. Hamburger Helper, while delicious and satisfying for me, merely tided me over until something more filling offered itself up.

This is also what happens when you do not adhere to the 90 Day Rule. You allow yourself to be a placeholder for a more appealing option and in the end, you become left over.

This has been a Mr. Smart Guy Public Service Announcement.

Feel free to let me know what you think.

That’s my time.

- Mr. Smart Guy

*smangin' = smashing + banging - reference is located here:
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