Thursday, August 03, 2006

diff'rent strokes!

I'm back again, speak readers. It's good to be here writing - in one piece. People were driving extra crazy this morning. I had to resort to my usual maelstrom of insults to the window (as if they could actually hear me). I'm at work now so I'm cool - so now I can do my real job, surfing the net and chillin' on "the Space".

While perusing different sites and instant messaging, I started a conversation with my good friend, Nyberg. It was actually pretty interesting on several levels but one topic that stood out to me was about dating.

You might be thinking: Jorge, everyone dates
- why is that so interesting?

Well, to be honest, it's interesting knowing the different ideas people have about dating. Some people believe that you should only focus on one person so that you can truly get to know that person. Others treat them as auditions and if successful, you advance to the next phase (a la American Idol).

As for me, I tend to agree with both arguments.

Some of you are thinking: Jorge, you can't agree with both you HAVE to pick a side.

Forget that nonsense - there are pros and cons about both. Because this is an uplifting blog, I'll choose to use the positives.

DATING ONE PERSON (otherwise known as the Sin-glé)

You only have to remember one name.

(i.e.: one set of numbers to keep up with). I told you to call my other cell phone first, why did you call this number? You almost got cursed out, player!!! Plus, you dont have to worry about call-waiting catching you up.

There is no need to explain to anyone else why you're busy. (i.e.: your family, nosy-ass friends and meddling neighbors) Umm, where am I going? Out. Out where? Out. Stop asking so many doggone questions.

You save money. For you frugal people out there, this is great! I'm taking you to the finest place money can buy - Red Lobster. Waiter, can we get an extra basket of Cheddar Bay biscuits, please?

You're less likely to run into a crazed muscle-bound ex who wants revenge.

With only one ex, you can conserve your energy for running away after your date. Baby - why is that guy outside my house with a bat? Yeah, I'm pretty fast I used to run track but what does that have to do with anything? Why is he pointing at me - shaking his finger? Oh my damn, he's coming this way!!!

DATING MULTIPLE PEOPLE (otherwise known as the Ménage)

You are rarely bored.

No sitting home alone... just look in your directory - and - voila! Instant satisfaction. Eeny Meenie Miney Moe, which date will I choose to take me to a show?

You increase the chance of romance. If at first you don't succeed, use something new on the next one. 50% of the time, it works it every time.

You can actually use all of the slots in your cell phone.

The more numbers you get, the closer you'll be to using all 300. Yeah, dawg, I almost got a person for every letter in the alphabet, thanks to Zakiyah, Xena, Ursula and Quana.

You can add up all of the companions and they equal one great person. Some people might think: Who needs love when you're talking to every Tom, Dick and Felipe? Hey, you've got a lot of love to give someone needs to reap the benefits.

All in all, the whole point of dating is to have a good time, enjoy yourself and maybe perhaps play a little game called "just the tip" just for a second, just to see how it feels. Then, if that works out, the person you've just had hours of foreplay can become your baby's daddy/mama, and you can then argue about whose turn in it is to pick up Lil' Lump from school. Ain't life grand!

I'm out - I've actually got some real work to do. Hit me back with some comments and some blog suggestions.

- Jorge

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