Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Mr. Telephone Man.

What's good, folks? Happy New Years to everybody...  getting back on the grind after a little hiatus is tiring, but it's all about new opportunities (at least that's what I'm trying to convince myself of). While on my way on to work this morning, I popped in one of my old school mixes to jam to while on the expressway. I was really getting into it, doing car-influenced dance moves (you know like bobbing your head and snapping fingers and then grabbing the wheel real quick-like as to not swerve off into a ditch or another car) and singing parts of the songs (and humming the rest because I don't know all the lyrics) when I came upon a classic joint I hadn't heard in sometime.

The song was New Edition's Mr. Telephone Man. Some of you may not remember this cut but whenever it came on, I began to imitate Ralph and Bobby (pre-crack) on the microphone. The pain they felt was real as they sang their hearts out. Here are a few of the lyrics:

Mr. Telephone Man, there's something wrong with my line...
When I dial my baby's number, I get a click every time!
(Hopeless Romantic Thought: I know it must be the phone 'cuz it couldn't be me!)

She let the phone ring 20 times
Before she answered
Let me tell you what happened then
A minute later I got the operator
Saying please hang up and place
Your call again...
(Hopeless Romantic Thought: Maybe she had a bad signal...)

Some strange man is on the telephone
He keeps telling me my baby ain't home
She got no party line
Situation blowing my mind
Oh, I just can't take this anymore...
(Hopeless Romantic Thought: That's probably her cousin, Reggie...)

To make a long story short, Ralph and Bobby never quite do make that connection. Who knows why them fools kept calling a busy number - but that's not the topic I'm really trying to reach today. Ladies and gents, boys and girls, mammals and cats - I'm here again to offer up my sage (and unsolicited) advice into a serious matter: phone etiquette.

Many people do not exercise said etiquette and it is a bit nerve-wracking. I bet you're thinking that you're pretty good at it and you don't need my advice. To that, I think... listen anyway because one of your trifling friends isn't and needs to hear what I gots to say!!! Sorry, had to get the crunk out of my system...

Picture this scenario:
Boy meets girl (or whatever meeting scenario you wanna stick in).
They exchange pleasantries and phone numbers with promises to call.

Often, people know whether or not they actually plan on calling the person after they receive said number (I don't see the point of taking a number you have no intentions of using but that's a blog for another day.) For this scenario, let's say you are genuinely interested in talking (or for my Chi-Town folks, conversating) to this person.

With that being said, there is an appropriate time line in which one must call.

1) Same day to one day. Um, no. Makes you look too anxious.

2) Two days - five days. Good time frame - gives them time to remember without struggling to who you are.

3) Six days to 12 days. Pushing it - but at least when you say your name, they won't immediately go WHO DAT IS?

Anything more than that and don't bother calling. Even if you have a legitimate excuse on why you couldn't and/or haven't called, the other person believes that you aren't interested.

The common thought is that if you're interested, you'll call. It's a fairly simple rule to follow... but we all know that simple isn't chic - so we do things with a veil of mystery.

That's all fine and dandy - but that allure, that mystery, that intrigue is certainly not as sexy when you are talking to Ray-Ray, your invisible best friend/gangsta rapper about that new young tender you just met.

If you're feeling someone, call them up and whisper a few sweet nothings in their ear. Don't wait for them to call you. Go out and get yours before there is nothing left out there and when you finally do get around to calling, you get the gas face like Ralph and Bobby...

What's your thoughts on this? Let me know...
Ladies - do you feel you have call a man that you want?
Gentlemen - do you feel like you always have to make the first move?

That's my time.
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