Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The Smart Files: Kommen Sinse & The Maintenance Man

Starting this week, we here (OK, me) at My Two Cents are adding even more great writers (besides me) to the site. This dude is a GREAT writer and his insight is very sage and also more blunt than a marijuana convention... please welcome to the stage, Kommen Sinse!

I thought I'd take a quick moment to introduce myself. I'm Kommen Sinse. You can call me Kom or Sin if you so choose. Mr. Smart Guy asked if I could write a little something for his site. Since I've been knowing and reading him for quite some time now, it was nothing for me to do this for him. Let me see. I guess I can tell you guys about me. Hmmm....I'm that thing that everyone has, but rarely ever use. I'm that voice that you hear but don't always listen to. The one that tells you I shouldn't eat that cupcake because it's gonna go it may go to your hips. Yup....that's me! Now, I had a long night last night. I had to work overtime. It's not jus a name it's a lifestyle....LOL! I can always find time to bless you all with a little something. I wrote this a while back, but I was talking with a lady friend of mine last night about this very subject.

The "Maintenance Man." I'm currently "maintaining" three females. Now, that can get extremely tiring considering I have to shuffle my schedule around to accommodate the time frames in which I have to work. My logic is if she needs it and she's not getting it from home....I will certainly give her all that she can handle. So here's the blog I wrote a while back.
Before yawl twisted folks get to thinking crazy and letting that hamster run wild on his or her wheel, this is another idea for a topic I got from Fatman Scoop's show, Man & Wife. Let me clear that shit up right now.
Now....we all know what the term "maintenance man" means. I hope we're all adult enough to fully understand that. But just in case some of yawl don't know I'll give you the definition.

Maintenance Man A man who is called upon for simple maintenance issues a woman may have. For example, unclogging her pipes, knocking wood, or laying pipe. The woman is typically a YUPI (I have no clue what that is) who is not interested in a relationship, at least not with the man in question. The maintenance man usually does his job in the late evening and leaves when the "job" is complete. Maintenance man services are free of charge.

Definition from Urban Dictionary

Basically, Fatman and Shanda got an email from a woman explaining that she was considering getting a maintenance man while her significant other was either gone away on business or doing something. The question that came out of all of this was....and this is for the ladies....how often do you have "get it" before you call the maintenance man? Be honest now, because I know some of yawl are nymphos in disguise. And let's face reality....those toys you buy don't always do the trick. You need the heavy petting and sweating, the hair pulling, ass-smacking, dirty-talk that comes with physical interaction. If you have a toy that smacks your ass....you need to be committed into a mental institution cause you was dead wrong for buying that thing in the first place....LOL! So I ask again....how often do you need your sexual appetite quenched before you call me a "maintenance man"?

Inquiring [read: horny and nosey men] minds want to know.

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