Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Milk Sold Separately.

What's up, folks?

Hope is well with you. I just wanted to share the views I had about a conversation I had recently.

The other day, one of my good friends and called for dating advice and I felt obliged to assist her in these affairs of the heart. It seems as if she is interested in a young man and things have been going well between the two of them. They have been dating for a few weeks now and this gentleman seems to have all of his teeth, no felonies on his record and no visible signs of some tragic venereal disease - all in all, a real keeper.

With all this chemistry starting to build between the two of them, she wanted to see how soon was TOO SOON for them to get know each other like Adam & Eve, no leaves. I politely explained to her that in that situation, it's different strokes for different folks (no pun intended).

Some believe that you should wait until you jump over the broom to get to that bedroom boom. Others believe that love has no limitations and that if you're feeling it, just get to it.

I can understand both stances but as a virile, yet old-fashioned gentleman - I tend to fall in the middle.

I'm not rude; if the cake is offered to me right away, I'm gonna eat it.
Am I gonna savor the flavor of it? Am I going to appreciate the time it took you to make the cake extra delicious? Maybe. But there's a chance, I might just look at it for what it is: cake.

On the other side; I might get famished while waiting.
You're telling me I have to give all this delicious pastry surrounding and hope that your delectable moistness is going to satiate my hunger? Chances are most won't have that willpower.

My overall belief as a man (and moreover a hungry, hungry hippo) is that you have to eat real food first (i.e. discussions about life, what flavor Kool-Aid goes best with spaghetti, politics and musical selections, etc) before you can enjoy that dessert of the cookie, lest you end up being unsettled in the long run.

Booker T. Washington once said: "Nothing ever comes to one, that is worth having, except as a result of hard work."

Real talk: I'm not going to know how far we can fly if I'm always grounded between your thighs.

Let me know if I'm off-base. How long do/would you wait to consummate?

That's my time.

Comments (12)

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Excellent points, G! Ones that escape many women simply because we fail to evaluate situations based on what the man has revealed to us. Whether based on intuition, action or verbal cue, I make my decision based on all of these aspects.

If you give me a bunch of mattress mambo talk with no substance then I know where we stand (or don' depending on the situation). And if you're about something and we're feeling each other then we can move forward but I don't think there's a specific time frame per se. Although a few weeks would be a little early for me, someone has to make the first move eventually.
2 replies · active 772 weeks ago
What's your time frame to meet the bed frame? LOL
What's your time frame to meet the bed frame? LOL3SIX5IVE Creative: We make stuff and people seem to like it.
How did you manage to give so much good advice with all of these hilarious double entendres? lol Even though I'm a virgin (lol), I have to cosign with you. Everybody is different though. I think though, that if a person wants more than scrumping, its always best to wait and feel the other person out to see if they want more as well, to prevent getting their feelings hurt.
3 replies · active 773 weeks ago
I didn't even realize this was yo ass talking bout "I'm a virgin". LOL

-ChiChi
Well I wrote this at lunch - so the food thoughts came easy. I gotta concur with you on being on the same scrump path - if one wants to cut and the other wants to cuddle, someone is gonna get their feelings (and probably their libido) hurt.
Well I wrote this at lunch - so the food thoughts came easy. I gotta concur with you on being on the same scrump path - if one wants to cut and the other wants to cuddle, someone is gonna get their feelings (and probably their libido) hurt.3SIX5IVE Creative: We make stuff and people seem to like it.
This is definitely something you have to apply, case by case, especially if you like to date a lot. I feel guys out first; if there is a STRONG sexual attraction there without sex even being mentioned and I'm feeling froggy, I leap. I don't expect too much out of it though because I FELT it in my loins first rather than KNOWING he had other qualities that even mattered.

The only person I did wait a longer time than usual with, based on my physical attraction, was my daughter's father. We were attached at the hip every day for 3 months and then IT happened. Four years later, IT is still happening and we're still together. In his case, that 3 month foundation is the reason we have lasted this long.
2 replies · active 773 weeks ago
Do you think it wouldve been different if you didn't wait with your BD?
Do you think it wouldve been different if you didn't wait with your BD?3SIX5IVE Creative: We make stuff and people seem to like it.
I hope I don't get too scrutinized for this one, but I am one that needs to know what a man is working with first - in the bed. Sorry, but that's just how it is. For me, it's a major form of communication whose validity needs to be comfirmed first. There's nothing worse than talking to a man, getting all into him, only to find out that he can't "communicate" effectively. It takes you all the way back to step one...for me, anyway.

If I were pressed to give a specific answer, I would have to say that it is "case by case"...
1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago
Traci - that's totally understandable. I wouldn't buy a house without checking it out first. It's only normal to do so. I would just advise not to put up a chandelier before finding out if you have leaky ceilings LOL....

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