Tuesday, August 17, 2010

It Ain't My Fault. No Silkk.

What's good, folks? I hope all is well with you.

I got the chance to see Kevin Hart at Zanies the other evening and of course, hilarity ensued. He waxed poetic about a myriad of topics, including drug abuse, family life and living within your means. He also introduced a couple of comedians, Comedian Spank and Na'im Lynn. Both of those cats were hilarious as well but Na'im said something that really stuck with me.

He made the statement that 80% of the time when men cheat, it is NOT the woman's fault due to the woman not being able to have multiple vaginal areas. I agreed with him for the most part as some of my fellow gender mates have the propensity to revert to child-like status (i.e. fall prey to the can't follow the look but don't touch rule) when introduced to someone's well-developed daughter's impressive physical attributes. But that's not what I'm here to discuss today.

No, no, I say - those fellows are easy targets.

Today, I'm going after the real culprits, the women who allow men to do relationship things without being in a real relationship.

Chances are - you know one of these individuals.

She boastfully speaks about great her man is and all the amazing things that do. The plain truth is he ain't that great and if they do anything amazing at all, it usually involves prophylactics (wrap it up, B!), whipped cream and lowered inhibitions. This woman usually perpetrates about a myriad of things but when it comes to this faux relationship, she has the answers for every "silly" question you might have.

For example:
Keisha: My man sho is good to me. I think he's the one.

Concerned Friend: Why is that?
Keisha: Gurl, he make my toes curl and he dress real nice.

Concerned Friend: What do y'all do for fun?
Keisha: He just like to hang out at the house and cuddle with me.
SMART GUY SIDEBAR: If a guy does not take you outside of the house for a date more than 2 times a month MINIMUM, you are not his girlfriend. You are his concubine.

Concerned Friend: Oh. Um. Well, how does he treat his mama?
Keisha: He love her a lot. He be leaving out of the room all the time to talk to her.
SMART GUY SIDEBAR: If a guy leaves the room to talk on the phone repeatedly, you are not his girlfriend. You are the sideline chick. Any man who is invested in you will be unafraid to talk right there in front of you because he has nothing to hide.

Concerned Friend: Have you met any of his friends?
Keisha: Naw, not yet.

Concerned Friend: How long have you been dating?

Keisha: Six months.

SMART GUY SIDEBAR: If it has been six months and you still haven't met any of his friends, I must hasten you to call the police because that man is abducting your feminine feel-good (and also your common sense). A man who is really feeling a woman can't wait to tell his friends about her and will make plans for them to meet (partially because some dudes want to here how well they did in choosing their mate.)

All in all, Keisha does not have a man. She has a moan.

Easy mistake, I suppose as the two words do look awfully similar.

In the end, the likelihood of Keisha's moan becoming a man are pretty slim and chances are Keisha will find about some other woman and she'll cry about how men are dogs and she should have never gave him head kissed him on the first night.

In reality, what she should have done is set the boundaries of the relationship from the start and set ground rules of what she expects in the long run.

But that's just my take... what say you?

Am I offbase? Do you agree?

Let me know.

That's my time.
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