Thursday, January 20, 2011

2000: The Everclear Edition.

The Scene: Summertime
The Mood: Boredom
The Attitude: Composed Confidence (ie Stupidity)

Let me explain.

In a desperate attempt to show my independence, I decided not to travel back to Chicago for the summer. This would've been a wonderful idea but I didn't have a job, which meant no money and no true place to lay my head (or scrub my nether regions). I spent the majority of my time very gypsy-like, staying at various places with friends and taking odd end jobs just to have enough to eat or give gas money to folks who transported me around.

During the downtime of my down time, I hung with a gaggle of people including my pseudo-Hispanic friend, Fred. We've been down since the 7th grade so I knew I could rely on him for just about anything. He's a true friend to this day and one particular time, he saved me from myself. He knew I was feeling a bit down so he called up a few people and invited them out to his house. Next thing I know, we had a house full of people, music and red cups of liquor.

Up until that point, I had never had alcohol (unless you count the mistaken stolen sips of beer and vodka from my aunt's glass - I thought they were apple juice and water). I really didn't like the taste but I commenced to imbibe once I had all that free time. Don't get me wrong, I was no one's alcoholic but I started to increase my tolerance --- so much to the point that I began to boast that I could not become intoxicated.

Pure folly I know but I still believed it. One of my other boys sought to disprove my beliefs and told me to drink a shot. I told him I would and promptly asked for two more. He warned me against this but being stubborn as a mule, I drank them anyway. Turns out what I was drinking was Everclear*.

Everclear is an alcoholic beverage that is 190 proof. In contrast, other hard liquors such as rum and vodka are typically 80 to 120 proof, which contain 40 to 60 percent alcohol. In a nutshell, it's like drinking gasoline.

What happened next is a little hazy for me.

I believe I looked like this:

The recap as explained by the people who were around was this:
  • Shortly after the last drink, I began to get really hot and I went outside to get some air.
  • My feet were hot as well so I took off my shoes.
  • I figured if I ran around maybe I could generate a breeze to cool off.
  • Somehow, this ended up with people chasing me through the surrounding woods that encapsulated the complex.
  • Once I was corralled back into the house, I sat for a minute and decided to run to the grocery store for some water.
  • Yes, I am still in my socks.
  • I once again captured and taken back to the house.
  • I take off once again, fearing that I will be late for school if I don't make this bus.
  • My frustrated friends finally tie me up and I wake up the next afternoon.

In a nutshell, I was an idiot and I have very patient friends. If the situation was reversed, one of those guys would still be in the woods, pop-locking with raccoons and beavers. Glad I finally sobered up (in more ways than just inebriation).

That's my time.

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